Saturday, October 10, 2015

Two Questions...

I was browsing the Internet (dangerous, I know,) and the experience left me with two questions.

First, what is with all the Marvel Cinematic Universe actors in all these live-action Disney movies?

Second, what is with all these live-action Disney movies???

Come on! Was the original Snow White, the first full-length colored animated movie not good enough for you, that you had to do one with Chris Hemsworth (and Kristin Stewart, Kristin Stewart, as Snow White)? Was the original Cinderella so bad that it needed a Kenneth Brannagh remake (with Hayley Atwell - Agent Carter - as Cinderella's mother)? Do I even need to say anything about Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland? I guess Maleficent is the most justifiable remake, and from what I've seen, the story in and of itself was interesting, but did anyone need to take that particular story and apply it to Sleeping Beauty?

And as if nobody learned their lesson from all of those, we now have two more disasters (that I know of) showing up in theaters. The first just came out recently, I guess, and it's called Pan. Basically, it completely rewrites Peter Pan's perfectly adequate backstory - now he comes to Neverland at 12, and he and Captain Hook start out as friends, along with Tiger Lily, trying to destroy... Blackbeard? (Who's played by Hugh Jackman, Wolverine in X-Men - not MCU, but still based on Marvel books.) Because, if there's one thing that the perfectly adequate and done-to-death story needs, it's a backstory for Captain Hook!

Here's the trailer:
(from YouTube)

And as if that's not bad enough, this came out:
(from YouTube)

The Jungle Book - Rudyard Kipling's most famous work (which, incidentally, includes "Rikki-Tikki-Tavi") directed by the guy who did Iron Man, produced by the studio that trainwrecked the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and apparently starring Black Widow as Kaa - who thought that was a good idea?

What was wrong with the original?

But wait - that's not all!

Live-action Beauty and the Beast, apparently starring Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) as Belle, Ewan McGregor (the Obi-Wan Kenobi from the Star Wars prequels) as Lumiere, Ian McKellen (Gandalf from Lord of the Rings and old Magneto from X-Men) as Cogsworth (seriously - Gandalf playing a talking clock?!) Luke Evans (Bard, from The Hobbit) as Gaston, and Josh Gad - freaking Olaf from Frozen - as LeFou. If you have a chance, take a look at the cast list over at IMDb. It's amazing - they have every minor character from the animated version, but then they added a king and a queen and apparently Belle's mother ... what? That one's going to be completely off the rails.

And then - as if all this isn't enough - apparently there are plans for a live-action Cruella de Ville movie. They are making a movie about, and I'd bet giving a backstory to, a woman who kills puppies. Do I need to say anything?

Disney, stop. Stop doing those, and instead, do more of this:
(from YouTube)
But no sequels!

1 comment:

  1. Urgh yeah, there's reasons why I haven't seen any of the live-action movies. I already know the story. Special effects in live action fairy tales typically (in my opinion) appear more real and jar my suspension of disbelief more than just having everything animated. I like art (and therefore animation). I would imagine that there's fewer problems with horrible casting/acting, and even if the voice actor is horrible, it's easier to tune out the voice (or just mute the tv and read the subtitles) than it is to erase horribly enacted scenes... or actors that IN NO WAY resemble the book characters (read: Eragon... seriously, DO NOT watch the movie, and if you do, do not expect it to be like the book... at all). Ummm sorry for the tangent(s)? My only excuse is to blame it on coffee, though that should have worn off by now....